False Causes

It was a Monday. Saying that heavy traffic always falls on a Monday is just like saying that Easter always falls on a Sunday. It’s a well-known fact. I knew there was a heavy traffic ahead. That’s why I left earlier. Additionally, I had a major quiz for my morning class. And it was Ms. Blank’s class. I cannot definitely be late for her class. She was a terror.

As you most probably know by now, every rule has an exception. That Monday was an exception. It was an abnormally, crazyass, heavy traffic-filled Monday. Apparently, a truck that turned upside-down was the culprit.

So obviously, I was late for her class. No, to be more precise, I was late for the class after her class. That’s how late I was. I also found out that I was the only person late for her class that day. It was hardly surprising because while I was stuck, along with a thousand other people inside their cars, waiting for the upside-down truck to be removed, all the other people not coming from my side of the road enjoyed a good 1 hour or so of not sharing their road with the thousand or so other cars that got stuck. What a bummer.

When lunch finally came, I looked for Ms. Blank and told her my truthful excuse for missing the class. What did she say? “No, you can no longer take the exam. It’s no longer my fault that you came in very late. I said it, whoever misses my exam misses it. No more excuses,” she said with a no-you-can-no-longer-take-the-exam look on her face. There went 5% of my final grade.

Well, there are certainly a lot of causes that could lead to a particular event. I cut myself with a pair of scissors one time while working on a straw boat art project. In that kind of scenario, I would normally have to blame myself. However, I can go back in time and blame the guy who invented the scissors. If it weren’t for that guy, no one would’ve required us to do a project that required scissors hence, I wouldn’t be using any pair of scissors and hence, I wouldn’t have cut myself.

Another example would be a burning forest. It is easy to blame a negligent camper and his match or flint stones for the forest fire because that is the most obvious reason. However, I could also go back in time and blame whoever planted those thousands of trees on that area. Weren’t he and his cohorts aware that planting trees causes forest fires?

The causes I stated above are of course funny because they are not the most immediate causes. But Ms. Blank used the same logic. No, she didn’t look for the most immediate and obvious cause, which was the traffic. She had to go back further back in time and blame me instead. Whyyy? *sniff*